No one tells you about the after.
After the anger.
After the emotions.
After the apologies.
What happens when you’re faced with the possibility of returning to the pre-them time?
Before you dreamt of them?
Before you watched yourself in the mirror,
Uttering their last name with your first?
Before you spent countless nights
Telling sleep to leave you behind
Because of the awake moments with them?
What happens when you get over the bad?
During the silent treatments, moments
During the conversation that feels off
During the empty feeling in your chest because now you know
While you spent an hour, a day
Thinking of how to tailor your apology
Thinking of how you miss them
Thinking of how you want to tell your pride to shut up
If it means getting to keep them.
No one tells you
How bad it’ll hurt to know they didn’t want to grow inches, to be the bigger person
How their words are hollow
How they blocked you, okay with returning to a pre-you time.
No one tells you because even they didn’t know it would feel like this.