6 A Chance at “Trying This”
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I woke up at 7 AM
My nervous system
Ignored the melatonin pill
I swallowed 4 hours ago
The butterflies in my stomach
Created an effect with their wings
Making it hard for me to drift off
-
It’s been years since I woke up before the alarm. I have nothing to be worried about and everything to be happy for. I set it for 9, but I’m up now. I look over to my phone and there you are. We fell asleep on FaceTime.
-
I’m in piece
And I’m in peaces
Replaying your words,
“Because I still like you too.”
-
I still like you too but I almost didn’t admit it
You have a habit of playing me like a Katy Perry song
Hot and cold
Yes, then no
-
I’ve spent weeks being weak
Coming to terms with the fact
That you don’t like me back
That at some point
It is what it is like that
-
I’ve spent days thinking that may-
Be I was right to not talk to you
Like maybe I shouldn’t even fuck with you
-
Maybe I was right
When I told you that night
I don’t want you in my life
There was uncertainty around you
I didn’t know about you
And how you felt
I can’t read your mind
So I really couldn’t tell
-
You said that I should have gotten it
But you must have forgotten this
Thing between you and I
Is new, different
And I’m reminded every time
-
Thinking about
Your smile and your faces
You and those fucking phrases
-
Always telling me
“Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it, sweetheart.”
-
I’m talking to you after not talking to you.
I’m falling for you after falling out with you.
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I’m lighter. But my chest holds all the pressure that comes with knowing. The knowledge that you feel the same way I do. And I smile at the thoughts.
-
I hear you say “I like seeing you smile.”
And that again, makes me smile.
